LengThye..

Help!!!When i only can have my own house….REALLY ONLY  My family member?

why i must act so hamba?y?y?y?y??Y

I really cant understand wat the Fxxx they are thinking.!!all stay in one house
TIU!!

I have browsed friendster today morning and read my ex-chaser profile also…haha…i saw something is touching writing there…and this is never ever my partner say tat to me…
so i start imagine…if i m phak tou with him tat time…how am i now?
????????????????????????- yes that is full of ?????

Reality!!! hahaha…but i m actually thank god that i have my hubby now, he changed i think….if really want to think back the those   ‘decade’ issue and history…i believed that i won married my husband…there is no sweet memory much last time..

Anyway…thanks god!!!!I am happy with my current life…i love my family!!

I have bad emotion now when saw the gal…NOPE is women up there.
I tried to make fren back with her but she always like to show up her black face againa and again to me!!!
is tat my wrong!!! i admit the beside the photos ot her is my careless…!! i know
so i apologise to her when i work it and solve it!!
WTF i owe you??!!!!CB…NL….she really make me TL and DOWN!!!

i dun want to tai chui you one i know you are very power in this compny!!!
never mind
i will find my way out…since you think i m nt capable wat!!

OK>>>>>fine fine fine…i also thinking to cabut la…i will find something to work out without working here anymore!!

yday i have arguement with hubby about the house about bb….i mang chang betul…
i dunno why i pecek suddenly…watever he said i dun like..i just want to ‘teng’ him only…
everyday also tell me the same thing,wana to buy over that stupid house…surely next time there are many arguement with his parent…i am so sien now…no mood to think of it anymore…
i cant imagine how next time….SHIT!!!
i know we have no moeny i knoe we are nt capable to renovate…i know we are the STUPID!!!!no money no talk!!!

errrrrrggggg……why why why……

another arguement is my bb……always complaint my bb tis and tat….said he U…cibai…he is my bb/…all ppl also cant say bad abt him!!he is the most cutie!!!

GOD!!please help me and my bb

Shit!!! really shit…wat is this grandparent….CB you….she know we are going to see bb….but she never ever think to stay and folo us go,hem1!! if is the first grandchild?sure she stay one more nite and dun want to back….

i m very sad!! why so unfair?y?y?y?

I m so TL them already…everday say their first grandchild how cute how good how happy they are when see him…
CB!!! then say my son tis dunno that duno…sometime i really think to move out and din see their stupid face ler….
but this house location, renovation all very good…so if we go buy outside then it will b small, not convenince…and many many others thing to consider…safety….etc…

sometime i feel i ledi influenced by the sil…she did many thing to make me dun like mil.i know but why i still jump into it?i shall awake 24 hours..!!!must !!!she try to get my heart i know..

i know my son no handsome as u all…i know..but he is my son,….i sure love him more than u all ler…..i know what my son feel when he grow..no one sayang him, no one focus on him…i know tat stupid feeling..cos i also passed by this stage…my kids life is pass by no ppl sayang…ppl only say i m ugly!! everyone hurt me indirectly…but for me i m hurt directly and deeply….i know i got no such pretty face, such beautiful features…such fair skin….so i work hard on myself on study…on my body to improve….at last everyone really change their sight to me…i get my lovely husband myself…i get my bb and family…i must love them forever……

so instead of loving my family, i got to suit myself again to their family…actually i got nt such big reaction to their attitude as long as they dun talk abt my son…dun always say my son’s bad thing…i will pecek and nt happy…everyone also cant say abt him, only me and hubby!!!

my lovely son, u must grow healthy,happy and b more handsome!!fight down ur cousin  brother!!!!!
Thanks god tat give me everything i have now…i m so long no go praying…i shall arrange for it..but got to see my bb situation tis week first.!!!kambateh!!!!

Yday go check up,unfortunely doc was not in due to emergency…so…i see another doc for temporary….my problem still exists and my cysts still there and looks bigger….start worry is this a big prob???

so early morning at office, i start reading and looking for article about ‘ovarian cysts’…phew~~~really worry..but think that i have not serious symptons guess its not so critical and i guess if it is really harmful…doc sure will consult me stop my pregnancy…..so 50% 50% of my feeling now…worry and happy….

 If i not mistaken, if the cysts growing bigger, i need to operation or wait until deliver time only take it out and deliver by casearean…so, another problem out…$$$$….i guess we need 6k at least for the casearean…so i need to plan out more and more…..phew~~~ pececk……but i m loving my baby…now i really hoping my baby healthy and can deliver smoothly….GOD….PLease help me…i know i shall appreciate watever i m having it now…..i m really appreciate…but i hope my baby is healthy and i will thank GOD…….sure i m thanking now….and forever…

I know and can see hubby also worry about this…but he did not voice out much…..i also dunno how to answer him and also no mood to console him…cos  i m also down….life is like tat .,…

Fren-sn said i m the hang fuk among all of them…yea..i think so….i really appreciate all the thing that GOD given to me…THANKS again….so i must work out more to reply all my goods here….

Before bed, i was thinking the past with hubby…think back all the sweet memory…its really sweet and we also have sour time….thats break time…i happy until i tear…and i also tear due to break time…..LIFE – Happy + SAD….

………See one step do one step? Or think before you do? OH…thats a ‘mao dun’ Q…no one can answer it…

12th Oct 07 is my 4 months prenancy…hmmm…sometime feel normal sometime feel worry…haha…wat is this ?

so today 10 10 will go for my checkup, read from book that 4 months we can get to know the baby sex…hmmm…so kan cheong also har…eventhough baby gal or boy also ok…but really happy to know my first baby sex….hehe

human is ‘mao dun’…sometime think tat gal is good..but sometime also worry cant get boy…haha…if get twin with one boy one gal easy lar..dunid to worry so much…kekeke…

i so tire and no mood to work sometime….but thats is not choice…cos this is my job and i need to earn 奶粉钱ah…….see fren or coll say their experience like very rich ar…can hire confinement lady…can do this and that …haiii….but why i cant ler…but i shall appreciate cos my mum can cook for me…thats the best ler..she knows wat i like to eat she can cook well to me….somemore i m not like those ppl can ask maid to work one lor…you can see that like the cleaner i also din ask her do much wat,…just let her do watevr she likes and as long as she do..tats enuf…

I shall plan out my meal …go healthy meal ler…let my baby healthy also..YES!! Kambateh!!!

Today..hmm actually no today..is few days already….feel ‘mun mun di’…dunno what to do and i think i always ‘yi san yi kuai’ ah…feel here pain there pain?And keep worry dunno anything happen to my baby or nt?

 haissss….so emotional….these day i keep thinking what shall i do the best for my baby…and i m thinking to tell boss about my condition at least he will care about me…on certain work load…but cant tell yet ler…let it stable first…but i really start tire and dunno do what also think to sleep…

yday i m so angry…hubby go drink(yalar, i m the one allowed him go lar) but i ledi mention to him must back early cos i need to pay the car installment…but he back late…then i start mumbling and sms him ledi..i angry until i go out myself….at last he called me…and keep ask where am i….i cried….when the time i heard his sound..even though i m angry….but at last i can control my emotion….hehe….

when he back he keep saying i cant angry…i must understand…and next time i cant go out myself…ya…i knw then..but that time i really ‘fo je gan’ ledi…not bother what happen liao..jus angry nia…shit…now think back i really bad…i shall car my bibi…sorry baby….i will take care of you …i promise i won let this happen again yea…forgive me….

sorry to  ur dad tooooo…:p